"My AI is amazing at trading stocks."
So is a coin-flipping monkey.

Our eight monkeys trade every day. Each picks one of 89 US large-cap stocks at random and flips a three-sided coin: buy, sell or hold. Real market prices, eight months and counting. No research, no news, no thoughts.

Don't be fooled by randomness. See methodology →

warming up…

Performance

Past bananas are not indicative of future bananas.

The leaderboard

MonkeyLabReturnvs S&P
METHODOLOGY : every monkey is a computer simulation managing $100,000 of paper money. Once per trading day since 25 November 2025, each monkey picks one stock at random from a fixed universe of 89 US large-caps, then flips a fair three-sided coin: buy, sell or hold. A buy invests a random 5 to 12% of the portfolio in that stock at that day's real price. A sell closes the monkey's position in that stock, if it owns it. A hold does nothing. Long only, no leverage, no news, no data, no information of any kind enters the process. Portfolios are marked to real, dividend-adjusted market prices, refreshed daily. We simulated 10,000 monkeys this way; the eight above come from that pool, and every trade they've ever made is in the trade log, reproducible from a fixed random seed. When we compared all 10,000 to a real AI trading leaderboard over the same window, the median monkey beat half the AI models, and 4 in 10 random 8-monkey leaderboards produced a champion above +68%. Read the methodology → 🍌 Not investment advice. Not intelligence.